A career development option - non executive directorships

Becoming a NED

Acronyms, don’t they drive you wild? NED is, simply, a non-executive director. Perhaps I’d better introduce properly what an NED is and what it means. According to Wikipedia:

“A non-executive director (NED, also NXD) or outside director is a member of the board of directors of a company who does not form part of the executive management team. He or she is not an employee of the company or affiliated with it in any other way. They are differentiated from inside directors, who are members of the board also serving as executive managers of the company (most often as corporate officers).”

There are NEDs in both private and public sector organisations. An NED has influence, and may handle even be directly responsible for budgets. In the case of the health sector, for example, NEDs may be involved in the commissioning of services worth millions –the results of the NEDs recommendations and actions have a direct effect on a community or organisation.

Tell me more...

I found out about NEDs at a seminar the other day, chaired by Angela Peacock. It was held in the city with a group of women from the finance world and an amazing panel of experts (an impressive line up from Cranfield University, The Appointments Commission and a well known lawyer in the private sector). The majority of this audience was female and the seminar aimed at looking at financial careers and career development, but the advice applies across the board whatever you do, whatever your industry and even if you are not working. The more I heard, the more I wanted to know.

There were some frightening statistics about how few women there are on boards at all in the UK (around just 12% - but even that is an improvement over just 7% ten years ago) and how we compare to other countries (42% in Norway, less than 1% in Portugal).

The benefits of taking a non-executive position crept out as the discussion continued, with each panellist (all earnest champions of NEDs) giving their point of view and suggestions. The more diverse the components of a board, in the panel’s opinion, the more effective it was. Everyone has something to bring, and they were open and honest about the challenges that being an NED presents.

Firstly there is the commitment – though a position may only require 2 days a month for example, the NED must be committed to understanding the business or organisation they are working with and give it their full attention in that time. Many of the panellists had more than one NED, and full time careers. Understanding the level of commitment required is very important.

There are many ways to get into NEDs, and though the panel had used headhunters, on the whole they said that people came to their attention in very many ways. Whitehall, for example, is regularly looking for NEDs and publishes a list weekly in the Sunday Times. Local authorities and PCTs will advertise locally and nationally.

‘Don’t wait to be asked’ – the old school ties days of waiting to be tapped on the shoulder by a cronie are gone. The public sector, especially, has to be completely transparent about their recruitment process for all executives, including NEDs. It’s not quite so much ‘who you know’ any more, but what you can do is build your network to find out about opportunities that may interest you.

The benefits of becoming an NED are huge – not only the experience that you can gain from joining an organisation with a different perspective to your employer or usual day-time occupation, but you can also fulfil social responsibility ambitions and add something to your CV that will give you a great advantage over others. Even if it’s not a short cut to board positions, the simple development opportunities you will gain from the experience are immense.

There are plenty of resources on the internet about how to become an NED, some are companies offering search and select services, or to sell you ‘inside track’ information, or even offer training on becoming and NED. Lateral thinking will find you what you are looking for – whether it’s to pursue a personal interest in aviation (and be an NED of an airline) or to help your local community (support the local authority) or to follow something that is very close to your heart (a charity, for example), then go out and look for an appropriate NED.

The panel were reticent about there being many career advantages to being an NED for small local charities, but their advice remained consistent that taking on any NED is a great self-development opportunity.

The panel gave some advice on how to get appointed – the first of which is confidence. It doesn’t matter that you are an accountant applying for an NED. The second bit of advice was not to give up – if you don’t get appointment, go back and ask for feedback so that you can hone your talents for the next one you apply for.

The ages of NEDs range from late 20s to 80s! The right age is when you choose, not a pre-determined threshold. By becoming an NED you will gain cross-sector experience and widen your skill base. In fact, becoming an NED could be the best thing you do.

Resources:

Appointments Commission: http://www.appointments.org.uk/

How to become a non-executive director (Times article): http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/management/article6513325.ece

Non-executive directors (Guardian article): http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2003/jan/05/wageslaves.careers
Angela Peacock, conference and event chair: http://www.angela-peacock.com/

For a much more detailed, in depth review of the actual event I attended where I learned about this, please read 'Skirting the Boards'

(C) Carolyn Sheppard 2009

This article may be reproduced with permission from the author as long as all links and references are kept intact.

Here's an example of something else you may consdier, being a Trustee for a cause you support:

http://www.durrell.org/About-Durrell/Durrell-News/THE-SEARCH-IS-ON-DURRELL-NEEDS-YOU/

Abuse

Abuse is a sensitive subject, but in a recent article in the Times, they featured one of the least talked about areas of abuse: the abuse of children by women.

They called the article, and the accompanying radio programme on BBC Radio 4, 'Breaking the Silence'.

The reason I listened to the programme is that one of the interviewees is a friend of mine. I learned more about her in that short interview than I ever knew before. I knew she had suffered abuse, but no more than that. And she is not the only person I know who was abused as a child by a female. So, in my limited experience, I know two people who have survived this.

One of the things the article covered was the fact that this is such a little known area of abuse. Though indeed statistics show that only 20% of reported abuse is by women, what does that mean in real terms of actual abuse? And how much more unreported? I can't begin to imagine.

So why am I putting this in the Self Development blog? Because we all have different issues to overcome and, sadly, abuse (of many types) is a huge one in many peoples lives.

Esther Ranzten (founder of the Charity ChildLine, now part of the NSPCC) said something on the lines of 'if we are supposed to learn about love, trust, respect and affection from our parents, and we learn instead shame, unhappiness and self-loathing, it's no wonder that these create life-long problems'.

But the term used for those people who suffered abuse is 'survivors', not victims. That is key in moving on from any kind of abuse, I believe. The good thing is that there is help for people, whether through the NHS, independent therapists or charities such as The Aurora Health Foundation.

The point of this post is not to offer any opinion or great solution, just to raise awareness and let people know that if they are a survivor, they are not alone, and there is help out there.

It’s all about passion

I spent a half hour on the phone today to a new potential partner – they sell a great on line business simulation game for schools. The Director of the company had looked at our website, seen some potential synergy and we exchanged emails and arranged the conversation.

He told me about his product, and he was enthusiastic and knowledgeable. It sounds really good – an interesting and useful business game that would be great for our teachers, education contacts and even for training companies who work with young employees.

He transmitted his passion and I understood the product offering and target market quickly. Sounds like the sort of person I like doing business with. In return I told him about our site, about our markets and about how we contact prospects and send out newsletters and write articles etc.

At the end of the conversation he confessed that he was ‘more excited’ about our potential partnership than originally envisaged. There are opportunities to be far more than just ‘one more product on someone else’s site’ and he obviously picked up my passion for the business. We are now meeting face to face next week in London at the IoD to explore more widely the potential for doing business together.

It really is about passion. Anyone can set up a website and ‘sell stuff’* but a sustainable business, even when it is ecommerce based – is still about people.

And I firmly believe that people with passion do better business.

* half the affiliate programme promotions on the web seem to be based around this and making yourself an ‘internet millionaire overnight’. But are they people businesses, or just playing a numbers game? The most successful of these businesses are those that engage with their audience and sell ‘to’ them instead of ‘at’ them. But that’s a whole other article....

Leadership?

I often wonder about myself as a leader - you see it's hard to analyse your leadership style when you work mostly on your own.

Several years back I took a leadership survey that showed I was a 'coercive' leader. I know precisely why! The band I was in needed coercion to rehearse, to gig, to do anything basically! And though the band was supposedly a collective, I had to take the lead or nothing would have happened.

Interesting, because when I applied my work profile, I came out very differently indeed. I was an affiliative leader - and that makes sense to me. I want people to follow me because they trust me and have faith and confidence in my decision making. I want to lead through example and through good practice.

I've never been that good at being authoritative except when I am very confident about my subject - so as a leader that's probably something I should look at. I may not know the answer, but I am sure I know someone who does, so I should use that resource.

There's lots of writing on leadership, lots of academic study, but the best thing I read on leadership the other day was 'learn from good leaders you know, don't try and copy them'. You have to be authentic, to be the kind of leader you are.

So though I know it would be good to be a stronger leader, like my previous boss, I also know that I cannot copy their methods and be a successful leader. I have to be the leader I am, and be true to myself. Authenticity, surely, deserves the respect of those who would follow you.

I took an Emotional Intelligence test yesterday. It said I had a score of 75 (average is 50, best is 100). I answered some questions the way I genuinely react in a situation, realistically - even though I knew they weren't the best answers on offer. I was, in fact, authentic.

Job hunt? The changing market

A couple of years back I signed up to the Marketing Week job emails - and I still get them. I am not looking for a job, but I haven't unsubscribed from these notifications. And I've noticed something.

In the past there were jobs for 'Marketing Manager' or 'Marketing Director' and details of the job, the company, the product or service, yada yada... now the jobs advertised are far more specific:

'Channel marketing manager with experience in communications software'
'Research marketing manager in pharmaceuticals'

In other words the day of the general job description have gone. It is an employers' market so they can be very specific about the skill set of the people they want. And this is true of all industries and roles, not just marketing. Individuals who are job hunting have to really tailor their CVs and applications to match as closely as possible the requirements for any job they apply for.

For example, I looked quickly on a regional job site and saw an ad for an administrative assistant for a Government scientific department. Applying for that job with outstanding administrative skills will, of course, be the first stage - but what the employer is going to look for is perhaps an administrator with an interst in their area of science, maybe even with specific experience. So the job application should not just extol their talents and virtues as an administrator, but their personal interest in the subject and anything else they can use to make their application more relevant to the role.

Is that expecting too much for an administration job? Not at all. In the town where I live the Somerfield store has been closed with a Morrisons opening in six weeks' time. There were 45 jobs advertised. They had over 400 applicants for those 45 jobs. How would you choose who to appoint?

There are many resources on line for helping individuals to help jobseekers but it can be a bit of a minefield. Watch out for sites that will charge you to improve your CV, many of the services offered on line can in fact be found for free at your local JobCentre in the UK, or from other Government agencies. That doesn't mean you shouldn't employ the services of professionals, but be sure to research all the options before handing over any cash!

Emotional Intelligence

About two years ago I went on a skills update day about Emotional Intelligence. It was very good, and I learned about how it is applied 'scientifically' and how useful it is in recruitment. EI needed to have some sound basis for practical application for me to 'buy in'. Certainly the statistics showing that the US military had a greater success rate when they applied EI to the recruitment process was a pretty good example.

We have a couple of EI books on our site and a free questionnaire to help you get started on the 'road to emotional intelligence'. I always thought I was pretty well self-aware about emotional intelligence, but even filling in this quick questionnaire gave me pause for thought when I reflected on my answers.

The author of the questionnaire and one of our books is Maureen Bowes, and she's done some neat videos - snippets of which you can see on her site. They are long enough to give you something to 'take away', so worth a visit if you get the chance:

www.peopleintelligence.com/coaching.html

Where there's smoke...

In my post about smoking back in February, I mentioned a friend in Ireland who was giving up.

Well, it's now June and she's still not smoking! I'm really proud of her because she has had a very difficult few months.

Did you notice the title of this post? Crafty of me - it's the name of a novel she has written and is currently with Penguin for consideration (they asked for the whole manuscript after seeing a few chapters).

So let's hope that where there's interest, they end up publishing. It would be a nice (to say the least!) bonus for her and a superb reward for her giving up smoking.

Incidentally she wrote a short story a couple of years back called 'Wicked Weed' and it won a competition in Belfast. Got published and read on the radio. It was about someone who gave up smoking!

Stress!

I've recently had a few experiences that you could say caused a little stress! But the thing is - I think I've learned a lot. Not about the experiences per se (there's lots of learning going on there constantly, as anyone with teenage kids will agree I'm sure), but more about how I manage my stress.

The other night I was feeling pretty tense and my husband asked me 'Are you OK?'. 'I'm a little stressed', I replied. His immediate reaction (because he always wants to help) was

'Why are you stressed? What's wrong?' and it was a sort of 'leap down your throat' response which, funnily enough, actually caused me more stress!

I was just a bit stressed, OK? Life, the universe... everything! So by sharing my stress and with someone wanting to help, I in fact ended up more stressed. Was that his fault? My fault? Well, thing is with stress there is no fault or blame - it's the circumstance.

I deal with my stress by keeping it lidded - bottled up! Now some say that's dangerous, that one day I will explode and make an awful mess, and perhaps that is true. But I find that as situations slowly resolve (or are unchangeable and so have to be accepted), my stress dissipates.

The stress leaks away - well, the stress over that particular issue anyway. I have learned to try and accept what cannot be changed and, and I think this one is missed out in lots of 'advice' pages, accept that some things (people) don't want to be change. So it's not accepting that it can't change, but that it won't.

What's my point? I think it's just a little 'blow out' on stress. I keep it quiet, lidded, because that's how I deal with it. When I 'share', the benefit is not always there for me. Sometimes sharing (for me) makes things worse. But I wouldn't recommend everyone keeping it bottled up, no. See - I'm sort of vinegar and water, when other people may be water and oil or even vinegar and bicarbonate of soda. Shake it up, oil and water still won't mix. And if you bottle-stop vinegar and bicarb.... watch out!

Deal with your stress the way you feel most comfortable. Whether its the recommended resolution or not, whether you can share with one person or not with another - deal with it how best suits you.

Buteyko Breathing

I don't usually post information about seminars or events, but I met Jen a while back and I was intrigued by this. So, if you (like me) want to find out more about how this can help you with asthma and other things - here's the details:

Tomorrow evening (Wednesday 6th May 2009), 8pm London time, I'm running a FREE teleseminar - introduction to Buteyko Breathing. It's short (half an hour) and run in a radio show format with 2 co-hosts to keep me on track! It's a first for me, and I'm really excited about the possibilities for this sort of event. If you've any interest in better breathing for yourself, family, clients etc, it would be great if you could phone in. The event will be recorded and available later if you can't make it, but I'd really like an audience to make it feel real, and ask questions at the end (if you want.)

I'll explain how improving breathing habits has a direct and measurable effect on health issues such as asthma, panic and low energy levels.

If all goes to plan it will include:

a quick breathing check-up for the listeners to do
an explanation of how the technique helps your body reduce symptoms and gain energy
results of recent clinical trials
who it can help
a chance to ask questions at the end.

Here's the all-important link - registration details not required.
http://soundalternatives.ning.com/events/buteyko-breathing-an


Jen Tiller MBIH
REALITY QUESTstrategies for well-being
http://www.jentiller.com/

Taking control - losing control

What can we do to take control of our lives? Well, there are thousands of sites and blogs out there promising the answer in '7 days' or 'ten easy steps' - but the truth is, I think, that you have really got to want to change.

It's hard when your life is controlled by so many external factors such as economy, geography and even your own physical well-being (my mother has recently broken her wrist and it's amazing the negative messages she is giving herself, even though it's getting better!).

But taking control is the challeng. Losing control? Oh now I could do that just as easily! I could scream and give up, thump the walls in frustration, walk away and into the sunset (though I'd probably fall off or over something on the way).

Maybe - just maybe losing control isn't a bad thing? I don't know - I've come close but never quite let go. Just when I think things are bad, and that I really want to run away from them, something in me says 'now now, and what good would that do?'.

Taking control is probably a better option, but the only person in control of that is me. I can read all the self help books I want, I can 'tap' and I can meditate and ... it really is about mindset. EFT and self-help books do help me to focus, but the real challenge is making the difference. Changing my own attitudes and assertiveness, asking and not just accepting, looking for the change I want instead of waiting for it to waltz up to me saying 'well now, HERE you are! I've been looking for you!'

So I'm going to focus on one small thing at a time. And once I have that under my control - even if it's something as simple as my diet - then I will look to the next challenge.

Podcasting!

I'm going to see if I can add value to my business site with Podcasting. I speak to fascinating people most days - leaders, trainers, psychologists, all sorts! Wouldn't it be great if I could record some of those conversations and have them as podcasts on my site?

I'm going to find out more, and I'll report back (of course).

Phobia!

I have a phobia of needles. Silly really as I have been stuck with them so many times you'd have though I'd be used to them by now.

I was a very sickly child (asthma) and was regularly injected, and as a young adult too, and as a grown up (almost) now I still have to have various things like flu jabs etc. And I still get dizzy when I see needles!

Thing is, I have detatched myself emotionally - I don't 'feel' scared of needles or phobic, but my subconcious still reacts and - at my daughter's hospital bedside a few weeks back - I ended up on the floor!

So, is it a phobia or a learned behaviour? Needles hurt - sure! But the reason for the needles is always good. Which is why mentally I feel fine - the sight of blood no problem, talk of operations, no problem - I've even watched an operation -no problem! So why do I keel over at the sight of a needle?

And what about other phobias? I challenge anyone to say they have no phobias whatsoever, but there must be some people out there who are completely fearless.

I look at what I am phobic about and try to analyse it:

no. 1: needles. Well, as said previously, they hurt, so there is logic and experience to give me this phobia

no. 2: crowds. I don't like crowds because I feel vulnerable (and got very scared a long time ago at a concert). But I'm fine on the London Underground which is a 'controlled' crowd. And I am mentally preparing myself not to get panicky in crowds. I feel I would be fine - though if the situation can be avoided, I'd probably still avoid.

no. 3: er... anything else I am phobic about?

Spiders... nope, fine with them. Pick them up no problem. Flying? Love it!! Death? Nope, doesn't worry me at all (hence my occasional reckless behaviour and love of slightly dangerous activities perhaps?) Snakes? Held, stroked, admired.

So - the two phobias I know I do have are definitely attributable to experience. But can these phobias be cured? An excellent hypnotist and NLP trainer I know (David Cotton) said that phobias are learned - spider one for example usually from the female head of household. Now, my daughter is scared of spiders and so is my husband, but I am not. But guess what? Her nanny was terrified of them! A cognitive behaviour therapist I knew used to get people over their spider phobia using tomato tops... they do look a bit arachnid, for sure! He used an acclimatisation technique to overcome phobias.

So phobias, if learned behaviour, can surely be unlearned? Or do you just need to learn a new behavior to cope with the phobia? I don't know - a fascinating subject I'm sure.

Anyone want to try this and give me feedback? I'm not phobic enough to need it - but if something terrifies you - this might be a way of reducing, if not elminating, the feelings of terror when faced with your phobia.

The Ten Minute Cure ... Get rid of any fear or phobia - in just ten minutes flat!

Positive thinking for confident outcomes

Last night I attended a workshop by speaker and presenter Kate Atkin. It was held in the Borders Bookshop in Cambridge and the only cost was a donation to the local charity, the Papworth Trust.

Kate presented a workshop on Precision Thinking for Confident Outcomes. She got the group to relax very quickly and took us through some very simple and easy to assimilate tips. I won't go into great detail (that's Kate's job), but I can share with you the main outline.

Firstly, and this is not at all unlike the comment I had from a trainer friend who said 'stop playing the failure film', she said we have to control what we think and run 'positive programmes'. Cut out negative messages and thoughts.

Secondly she talked about the language used. We looked at language and split an example into three categories, negative, neutral and positive. Instead of cutting out the negatives, she said cut out the neutrals. Be honest, if you are in a negative, don't mask it with neutrality, but do aspire to convert it to the positive. Using positive language as well as positive programmes will help boost your inner confidence.

Strangely enough I called a friend in the US immediately after the seminar. How are you? I asked. 'OK' she said. Netural answer! The truth was she wasn't feeling well.

Thirdly and very importantly, Kate said we must stay focused. It's too easy to revert to negative thinking and messages so keep that focus.

The next exercise/tip was about posture. She got us all to stand up and think of something good, then something bad (and the posture change was evident). She then asked us to maintain a positive posture and smile broadly whilst thinking of the bad thing. It made it a lot harder to think negatively, so posture (and a smile) do help affect not just how you appear to others, but your own mental processing.

Lastly we discussed breathing, and this I am very familiar with. In fact, I believe it's something we all do! Seriously, breathing deeply and regularly can help calm and relax you - important elements in feeling confident - and provide oxygen to the brain. It's hard to think without enough oxygen.

One very simple tool that Kate gave us was the Confidence Wall. I'll ask her if I can share it with you.

It was a very positive session, and Kate only briefly mentioned her book The Confident Manager and the evening ended with the group chatting and swapping business cards and engaging Kate in further discussion until the shop closed.

Further reading: how to be more confident by Tim Brownson and there are some self confidence tips on this site too.

Still not smoking!

My pal in Ireland hasn't smoked since 20th February! She's done it (so far so good shall we say). I'm really pleased I bought her that help programme, she's too far away for me to offer any direct support (other than our endless emails and IM-ing of course!), so it was something I was glad I could do for her.

And what a result! I really hope she stays off the ciggies, and if she is tempted, that she goes back to the programme to help keep her on track. I bought her the 'quit smoking in 28 days or less' software, and she has been using it I am delighted to say.

Networking

Last December I went to a women's networking Christmas event. It was well organised, well attended, good ideas and fun - and I felt like a fish out of water! Why? Good question - and one that I have not been able to answer.

This week I girded my loins and went to another networking event, at Stansted. This time I found it much easier (although it was a women's event again, it was a lot less 'girlie' which I think I prefer). And I can't tell you why!

Confidence? Yes, confidence has a lot to do with it. But also the people I talked to, I had something in common with. One was a customer of mine! Wow, you don't often meet your customers when you work on an internet business so that was a real treat.

I need to be a networker to make my business work, so I'm glad I went and I'm even more glad I managed to interact and get benefit from the session. The subject matter was something I understand (branding) and the kind of people there were business-minded, so perhaps the whole focus of the event was more conducive to me being 'successful'.

What I can say is that a little confidence goes a long way. I came back from the meeting feeling I had achieved something, not just in business terms, but most importantly in self-development terms. I CAN do this, I can make this work and I am going to.

I've been given a kick up the...

Well, not literally, but in a conversation with a contact on Ecademy, he said this to me (over an issue I have self-doubt over):

"The sub conscious believes what ever you tell it, regardless whether it's true or false. (Henry Ford said "whether you think you can or can not, you are right). YOU feed this in to your mind and then make yourself right by believing it and believing it's because of reasons out of your control. All that's happening is that for you to be right, you are living by the command you told yourself, so a self-fulfilling prophecy. You've already got the failure film in the projector so that's whats showing up on the screen!"

Wow. He's absolutely right. So, I've tackled the issue head on, and I'm going to DO it, and I've taken out the failure film and I'm ready to roll - lights, camera... action!

Oh, and I launched healthy chocolate on the CT site too!

Ghosts!

Do you like ghosts stories? I was reading some myths and ghost stories from Ireland over the weekend, about the Hag of Beula, and the Beasts of Ossary - poor old priest eaten up by a couple of werewolves... but entertaining stuff and some interesting mythological history in there too.

Lots of ghost stories on TV are very 'nasty', but in my experience ghosts aren't that bad. Ask anyone you know who says they have had an 'encounter' with something ghostly that they can't explain, and I would be very surprised if you hear of any malevolence or real trouble. Oh sure, an 'uneasy' feeling perhaps, but I've yet to meet anyone who has real horror stories to tell about 'genuine' ghosts. Yeah yeah, I know, you can't say that you can have 'genuine' ghosts when no one can prove they exist (but let's face it, none of the world religions can prove their God(s) either so does proof matter? no - belief is what matters).

But as well as reading ghost stories, I also write them. So this is an UNASHAMED PLUG for my own audio book of nice ghost stories (not to say they aren't spooky, but no one is dismembered by the spirit of a long-dead slighted lover etc etc).

www.completetrainer.co.uk/Audiobooks/Ghost_Sniffer

Have a lovely day, wherever you are.

A walk in springtime

At long last spring is here! With the cold memories of the winter seeping away like the last of the frost evaporating in the morning, the sunshine is bringing out smiles everywhere you look.

Yesterday my husband and I went for a walk in the village of Ashwell, Hertfordshire. We started off at the Spring, the source of the Cam, and then walked round the village, down country roads, admiring wonderful old buildings, enjoying the sight of sticky buds on young trees and three crows having an amazing game of chase round the church tower.

Spring does have a mental effect on us all, I am sure. The longer days, more sunshine, all adding positive karma to our poor winter-huddled souls. I look out of my office window now and I see the ancient clay tiled roof of the old Inn opposite, and behind it - the white blossoms of a tree shining against a pale blue sky.

I'm going to make this a year where I let the spring time develop in me as well - use my own initiative to improve life and build the business, help the family and find more self-fulfilment in what I do.

I hope that spring, after a terrible economic winter too, can bring some positive benefits for the world in a much broader sense. A little optimism can go a long way.

Life makeover?

Oh wow, I think I should try this - my life is so confusing! (Boy if I began to tell you, you'd say that wouldn't even happen in the movies...)

These folks offer a 'risk free life makeover'. Hmm! Are there areas of your life that you're dying to change but you just don't know where to begin? There are for me..

Are you afraid of trying to change aspects of your life because you just MIGHT make things worse... Or you're worried about what friends or family will THINK?

You know the things I'm talking about...

Your relationships
Your career
Your diet
Your finances
Your fitness...
Your FEAR OF CHANGE, or your lack of knowledge about how to change, is holding you back from the life you could be living right now.

And every day you continue just accepting your lot and doing NOTHING to change the areas of your life that need improving --- is a day WASTED.

So you owe it to yourself to take charge of your life... overcome your fear of change... improve your self-image and self-esteem... and tap into your talents and potential.

The Good News is You Can EASILY
Take Control of Your Life -- And Improve It!

That's what they claim. OK, when I get paid at the end of the month I'm going to give it a go! Join me?

Here it is: Life Makeover.

Oh, and to return to the subject of my friend in Ireland who gave up smoking with the programme I bought her, she's still smoke free! Saysshe finds the programme really helpful for keeping her on track. Go girl!

Kairology

Kairos - a 'crucial moment' in your life. Kairology, the 'doorway to many points', is a great name for a book about self-development. I am reading Ian Williams' Kairology book and it's colourful, easy to read and has some very simple concepts. I only looked at it yesterday for the first time, but already I want to buy it for some friends, as well as read it cover to cover for myself.

Heading for London, for a meeting with a high flyer (so I asked my very clever boss to come too), I couldn't take work on the train, but I did take this neat little book. There's a bit at the front which doesn't sit with my philosophy in life, but that doesn't matter, the principles are applicable whatever you feel/believe.

Arranged in four 'suits' - the book takes you through Hearts - passion, Clubs - values expression, Spades - values action, Diamonds - values results. OK, that doesn't really explain it very well, but I can't reproduce chunks of the book here, that would be against copyright.

But what I can say is that the way it addresses the issues that face us all is really accessible - something you can actually 'do', not just read and think 'ah yes, but in MY case....'

It was good to read the book, especially before that meeting. It helped me think a little about me, what I need and want and can offer. That last one I forget all too often.

http://www.completetrainer.co.uk/Self_Development/Kairology_Hardback

It's on the main site, and you can buy it as an ebook too.

http://www.completetrainer.co.uk/Self_Development/Kairology_ebook

I do actually check the stuff on my site, and I use it! OK, I don't train, but I really am looking at trying out the self development stuff, because then I will succeed, my business will succeed - and the aim of my business is to help others to succeed. It's a good business to be in.

Breathing easy

Last night I went to visit a trainer called Jen Tiller. We talked about lots of things: NLP, training, Reiki, EFT and Buteyko breathing technique. It's not a therapy I knew much about but it sounds very interesting.

One of the few complementary therapies approved for treatment of asthma (and yes, I am an asthmatic, have been since I was a baby) and therefore may be something I could use.

My asthma isn't bad these days, but even so if I could reduce my reliance on the inhalers I use, it has to be a good thing. I'll find out more and report back.

I must mention Jen's cat - a young siamese called Maximus Nautius (I think). Well he certainly was a character: not only did he decide to attack the sofa cushions, but he did this through back flips and stealth attacks that were, to say the least, distracting. And when he discovered the laces on my boots...

I'm hoping to have some of Jen's products on my site soon, especially her wonderful motivation posters and some meditation type audio tracks. I'll update on here when I have them ready.

Teacherdate

As Trainerdate has been so successful, it seemed highly logical to look at a dating site for teachers.

Teacherdate is UK based, aimed at those in the teaching profession. The good thing is that the Teacher and Trainer databases have cross members, so those with common interests in learning, even if not in the same profession, can find each other.

I posted an article about this on a writers circle too, so I just might start 'authordate' at some time as well.

Giving up smoking

My friend in Ireland is a serial smoker. She is also a serial quitter. But last month her husband had a heart attack and they laid the blame at the feet of cigarettes.

No surprise then that she, her husband and her adult son have decided to quit together. Imagine - a household with all three of them giving up smoking at the same time!

She's given up before, but usually some stressful situation or other has triggered the start of smoking again. Sometimes not even stress, sometimes it was a social event such as a family wedding, or just 'the girls' out for the night, or just the fact that she fancied a smoke.

But she's always wanted to quit, knowing that it's not good for anyone's health. What could I do, tucked away in England? Well, it's obvious really, I bought her the 'quit smoking in 28 days or less' programme of course.

After the first few days I asked her how it was going. She said it was OK - a bit 'supercillious', but that actually she kept going back to it and that it helped her keep on track.

She's quite a strong minded lady my friend, so I'm sure that she will do it this time. When I've nudged her about giving up smoking before, she basically hasn't wanted to, but this time? This time, I think, given the help of the programme and the best motivation in the world (the health of her family), I think she will do it.

I'll keep you posted.

Healthy Chococlate

Well, my latest exploration to self-development is looking at increasing my anti-oxidant intake via... chocolate!

And a business opportunity too! www.coolchoc.com - if you want to know more, contact me. The chocolates DO taste good!

Meanwhile, I have spent lunchtime today exploring the town in the snow. Lots of pictures here: http://snipurl.com/b5sj8

Thought Pattern Management

HOW TO PASS EXAMS USING TPM
By Graham Morris

TPM, Thought Pattern Management, started out as an educational intervention. Very many TPM techniques are as much about teaching the mind, especially the unconscious mind, new and different ways of doing things rather than as therapeutic techniques.

In our current diseducation system we enable pupils and students to concentrate on the dread NLP word:

FAILURE

We have a situation where the teacher goes through the pupils’ work, correcting all the errors and then encouraging the same pupils to practise those errors.

How familiar is this to you from your school/college days?

You are facing an exam.

Interesting word – ‘exam’. One of those words (semantically dense) that requires little or no processing ; a word packed with meaning and sometimes just the sight or the sound of the word ‘exam’ produces an immediate, and often unpleasant, state change.

So you walk into the exam room and sit there for 45 minutes – 180 minutes trying to remember all the information that you spent so much time revising.

Then the exam ends and a curious thing happens. As you walk out of the exam room you suddenly remember all the information you revised, but it’s too late! The exam is over.

Put simply, this is what happens. The learning, the revision tends to occupy the left brain. Walking into the exam room occupies the right brain. There tends to be a shift over a period of 90 minutes – which is why the 45 minute exams are most disrupted.

I worked with someone recently who was about to take his ‘AS’ Level exams (exams taken at the age of 17).

After explaining the above I implanted a posthypnotic suggestion that allowed the thumb and middle finger to slowly move down a pen held in a vertical position and that action would facilitate the switch from right to left to occur in 30 seconds.
The exam result was an ‘A’ grade.

Here is the full story of how to pass exams using TPM.

First of all a clear and well-formed outcome.

Do a memory cleanse of all earlier school testing. The easiest way to do this is via the TPM Brainwash technique (see INLPTA News Number 6 pp 41-44, December 2003).
Now all negative/unresourceful memories about school testing and exams has been reframed.

Take the pupil/student through The Circle of Excellence.

Make sure that the ‘circle state’ is in the form of a ring or a bracelet that the person can actually wear as they will need to take it into the exam room with them.
If you can find a Circle of Excellence experience that has a connection with previous exams/tests, so much the better.

When you get to future pace the experience get the pupil/student to imagine, while wearing the ring or bracelet, that they can scan the next test, going down the list of questions knowing the full and correct answer to every question.
Anchor this

Take your subject into the TPM Wide Awake Trance (for reference, see above) and:

“I would like to borrow your arm and I’m going to ask your unconscious mind (you are unconscious, mind/obey!) to keep it relaxed and comfortable.

I am going to talk to the Education Specialist (metaphoric part) and I’m going to ask the Education Specialist to take all the information that’s been (phonological ambiguity) studied and package it in such a way that it will be easily and fully accessible during the test/exam.

I’m going to ask you unconscious mind to allow your arm to lower only as rapidly as your unconscious mind completes the process.”

Tell your subject to walk into the exam room and put the Excellence bracelet or ring on the chair and then sit on it.

How to Pass an Exam with No Revision

Working with the same 17 year old mentioned above, we got to talking about revising his least favourite subject, which in this case was French (apologies to our French readers – it was the teaching not the language).

I was a bit surprised when he told me he was going to do no revision at all when it came to French.

He was unconcerned about maybe getting a low grade or not even a pass.

After using the Iceberg Metaphor for the mind – the bit that’s sticking out of the water is the conscious mind, the much, much bigger bit below the water is the unconscious mind – I explained that everything his French teacher had said to him, everything he had read and spoken in French was stored in his unconscious mind. All of that French information.

So he decided to do no revision whatsoever when it came to French.

Using the sliding thumb/finger/pen technique (see above) at the start of the French exam with the added instruction to access the Education Specialist, all went well.
He got an A in French.

© Graham Morris
Contact Graham at
Training Changes
7 Spenser Avenue
Cheltenham GL51 7DX
Tel: 01242 580640
Mble: 07711 370980
e-mail: graham@trainingchanges.co.uk
web: www.trainingchanges.co.uk

Looking for love

I've talked to trainers who spend hours in cars, delivering training all over the country and who would love to find time to expand their social network but the job...

Trainerdate.com is a new website where you can find people with common interests to you, all over the country.

Why are dating sites so popular? Because quite simply they work. Today's society doesn't give us much chance to socialise in groups outside work. We live increasingly isolated lives and enjoy our communities vicariously (this is why I think soap operas are so popular).

So if you are looking for someone to talk to, a friend or 'something more' as they say, then try out Trainerdate.com.

By joining Trainer Date for FREE you can:

- Add your profile and photos!
- Browse Singles!

All this is UK based.

Not the L&D post you expected of this blog I'm sure, but L&D isn't just learning and development, it's about life and development. You don't get anywhere by standing still they say.

Self doubt?

Ever wondered about your own capabilities, abilities, talents and skills? Well, if you haven't, then I admire you!

I know where my talents lie, but I know I don't exploit them fully. Do I do too many different things? Jack of all trades, master of none?

It was once put to me in a Women's Development session that "what women call multi-tasking,men call lack of focus". I am focused! Just on lots of things. And who can be so gender-generalist anyway? I know some pretty unfocused men and some very non-mutli-tasking women.

But I am challenging myself - if I have doubts, what are they and why? Well, I know some of the answers (and they certainly aren't going to appear on a public blog), but mostly I know it's prioritising. Doing what I do well, well, and learning to do what I don't do quite so well, better.

And the stuff I am useless at? Well, if I can't delegate or dump, then I have to challenge myself further. Self-doubt only seeks to undermine my determination to succeed, to gain what I want for myself.

But, perhaps like many others (very much so I am sure), I won't do so to the detriment of others. Is that self-doubt, self-restraint or self-control?

I'd love to know...

Hypnosis and NLP

Using 'embedded commands' - is it hypnosis, NLP, subliminal suggestion? I'm not sure, all I know is that it worked for me!

Some years back I asked a hypnotist/NLP trainer friend of mine to help me with dieting. We didn't meet up for ages, until we chanced into each other at a leadership training session.

We had a conversation about a mutual friend - we discovered that we had probably actually met before some twenty years ago in a completely different environment! After the conversation finished (I was packing up the gear from the session) I had a sort of 'eh?' moment.

Then I realised that I didn't want to eat chocolate! I looked at the biscuit tin, looked at the choccy bars, and had no urge to eat them whatsoever! So, whatever my friend had said in that conversation he had managed to help me without my even knowing.

'Embedded commands'? I don't know! It lasted about a month, which was all I needed to kick start that change in eating habits (don't call it a diet - that's a sure fire way of setting yourself up to fail).

Whatever it is/was - it worked for me. And, as I may have mentioned before, I'm not the best hypnosis subject.

Self-hypnosis

I bought a 'stop nailbiting' CD based on self-hypnosis. I listened to it (in the car, but parked up waiting) and found the experience very positive.

OK, I only listened to it once so I haven't actually stopped nail biting yet (awful habit, isn't it?). But I intend to listen to it again and again - because that way I think it will really help me break this stupid and unpleasant habit.

The CD had a soft American voice taking you on a journey in a bubble and I delighted in the experience! It was a lovely feeling. Though I am not an easy hypnosis subject (I can testify to that through a completely different experience a couple of years back) I didn't feel 'hypnotised' by this but very relaxed. And the relaxing experience was very positive and left me feeling a lot happier as well as more determined to stop nail biting.

I bought some others too - one for overcoming fear of flying (for a friend) and one to help stop panic attacks (again for the same friend). I've not heard back yet, but as far as I am aware her trip to the US is still on for February!

There's a huge selection of CDs on the site and though I think any serious hypnosis therapy should be done with a qualified and registered hypnotherapist, as an aid for self-help and self-development, I think they are a useful tool to add to the weaponry.

The one thing you do need to give yourself though, and I've proved this, is time. You have to make the time to sit and listen to the CDs and be in a comfortable relaxed situation (the car isn't the best, and certainly never when driving!). You can gain benefit from these CDs, even if it's just a feel good factor for an hour or so, if you want. It's as much about your determination to change as about the efficacy of the technique.

Meditation

I bought a meditation CD to help me relax with my extremely busy, mad life at the moment. I played it one night as I sat in the car waiting for my daughter to finish her horse riding lesson. Not allowed to play them when you are driving, so as I had an hour to kill it seemed like a good idea.

It was a very simple CD and I found that it did relax me. There was not much else I would have done in the car for an hour, other than listen to the radio, but I took the decision to make practical use of the time. I got the CD and put it in my car CD player and closed my eyes. The driving seat isn't the most comfortable position to be in to relax, but it was good enough.

The CD wasn't expensive, and the voice was American, but it was smooth and comforting and I managed to follow the relaxation and concentration techniques very well.

I just need to find some time to play it again and practice the techniques further.

EFT - extremely funny therapy?

No, EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. Based on Field Therapy (which you may hear people like Paul McKenna talk about frequently), Gary Craig in the US developed the technique considerably further and called it EFT.

I like EFT personally because to my mind it partners up two very powerful techniques that I already practice. The first is Karate. Well, not exactly karate, but pressure points. We know that the Chinese use these meridian points and nodes for all sorts of therapies (particularly acupuncture) but martial artists also know that pressure points are extremely sensitive. The second technique is NLP (see my post about NLP on this blog). Part of NLP is about using language to reinforce positive messages. EFT partners the physical (meridian points) with the mental (positive language) to create results that are therapeutic.

OK, EFT isn't for everyone - different techniques work for different people not just because of any scientifically proven efficacy but because of what an individual is personally happy to believe.

I took a level 1 course in EFT here in the UK with a lovely lady called Alison Munro. I had the opportunity to use EFT very shortly after completing the course when I was in the US, visiting a friend.

I use it regularly to help myself with challenges and problems and difficulties or just to make myself feel better when I'm ill.

It is not a catch all, cure all for me, but it certainly is a great tool to have in my portfolio of personal skills. I'd love to do Level 2 at some point, but life is very busy running the business and all the many other things I do that occupy my time.

IBPDA Annual Conference

The following is a news announcement from our NLP friends at
NLP Excellence:

A former Space Shuttle Chief Engineer, Mark L. Fox the author of “Da Vinci and the 40 Answers” will be a special guest of First Direct Bank on Feb 6th, 2009.

This book, in part, is based on the principles of TRIZ, the Theory of Inventive Problem Solving. A Russian scientist, Genrick Altshuller evaluated over 300,000 patents and found that all of them fit into just 40 solutions. This book teaches you these 40 universal answers and they don’t just apply to technical issues; the 40 answers can solve problems and opportunities in sales, marketing, and all business operations.

Mark has developed a unique way to explain and teach these principles. He makes it easy for anyone to understand. It doesn’t have to be rocket science.

You'll return home with a series of specific techniques and perspectives that will give you the ability to “think outside the box” at the snap of your fingers. In short, you'll be handed the keys to innovation.

For more information and to register, visit

http://free-nlp.co.uk/IBPDA_conference.html

NLP secret - using NLP every day

A couple of years ago I went on a two day introductory diploma in NLP*. Why? I'm not a trainer or a therapist, I am in marketing, I'm a singer and a writer. So, I am a communicator. NLP as a tool is highly useful in many walks of life, not just sales, therapy or training.

I'll give you some personal examples:

Meetings with suppliers or potential business partners

I have learned enough NLP to watch for body language, listen to the language the person I am meeting uses, and to build rapport successfully.

Business Writing

I think about the people I am writing to - what sort of people are they? Just because I choose email doesn't mean they will. I look at the group of people I am addressing and try to amend my copy to reflect what they may be most comfortable with, and offer alternatives for return communication. I also look through my copy to eliminate negative language.

Creative Writing

I write fiction for personal satisfaction (some published) and find that I think more about the senses when writing. Are my readers going to respond to gustatory, visual, auditory, kinaesthetic or olfactory descriptions? I remember to include each style as appropriate or, for particular effect, use one very strongly. I actually wrote a story called 'The Ghost Sniffer' following the NLP course. Imagine being able to smell history!

Networking

I have to network as a business professional but it is not a natural skill of mine. Using the NLP techniques helps me to ease into social situations more quickly.

Well, those are just a few examples of how learning even the basics of NLP have helped me. Oh, yes, it also helps when talking to recalcitrant teenagers too!

If you'd like a really easy introduction to NLP, there's a dandy CD called The NLP Secret. It's from the US and if you don't mind the extremely effusive marketing, the actual product is very good.

There are some great books too, from the simple introductory pocketbook The NLP Pocketbook, through NLP for Dummies to a whole host of advanced books focusing on different aspects of NLP.

There are also many training companies out there offering NLP training (some even offer free taster programmes) and you can become a Master Practitioner for something in the region of between £1000-£2000.

Why use NLP? I have found two schools of thought on this - from a CBT therapist who is convinced it is pure bunkum and detrimental to therapy through to those who swear by it as both a communication and therapeutic tool.

If you do a search on NLP on the internet you can find many instances of misuse of NLP as well as the positive outcomes. If you are interested in NLP, try something like The NLP Pocketbook or The NLP Secret to get a taster. If you like it, then research the training or reading materials available and take action.

* the NLP free two day diploma I went on was from a great company run by John Cassidy-Rice. If you visit their website and say you are interested, make sure they know you came via Complete Trainer, they know us well. NLP Excellence