Stress!

I've recently had a few experiences that you could say caused a little stress! But the thing is - I think I've learned a lot. Not about the experiences per se (there's lots of learning going on there constantly, as anyone with teenage kids will agree I'm sure), but more about how I manage my stress.

The other night I was feeling pretty tense and my husband asked me 'Are you OK?'. 'I'm a little stressed', I replied. His immediate reaction (because he always wants to help) was

'Why are you stressed? What's wrong?' and it was a sort of 'leap down your throat' response which, funnily enough, actually caused me more stress!

I was just a bit stressed, OK? Life, the universe... everything! So by sharing my stress and with someone wanting to help, I in fact ended up more stressed. Was that his fault? My fault? Well, thing is with stress there is no fault or blame - it's the circumstance.

I deal with my stress by keeping it lidded - bottled up! Now some say that's dangerous, that one day I will explode and make an awful mess, and perhaps that is true. But I find that as situations slowly resolve (or are unchangeable and so have to be accepted), my stress dissipates.

The stress leaks away - well, the stress over that particular issue anyway. I have learned to try and accept what cannot be changed and, and I think this one is missed out in lots of 'advice' pages, accept that some things (people) don't want to be change. So it's not accepting that it can't change, but that it won't.

What's my point? I think it's just a little 'blow out' on stress. I keep it quiet, lidded, because that's how I deal with it. When I 'share', the benefit is not always there for me. Sometimes sharing (for me) makes things worse. But I wouldn't recommend everyone keeping it bottled up, no. See - I'm sort of vinegar and water, when other people may be water and oil or even vinegar and bicarbonate of soda. Shake it up, oil and water still won't mix. And if you bottle-stop vinegar and bicarb.... watch out!

Deal with your stress the way you feel most comfortable. Whether its the recommended resolution or not, whether you can share with one person or not with another - deal with it how best suits you.